In the world of numbers, irrational numbers are a world much greater than rational numbers. The rules that govern functions apply regardless of whether a number is rational or irrational. To a large extent, much of human action is similar.
Rationality is a life-preserving feature of the cerebral cortex. The brain wants to catalog reproducible ‘truths’ to optimize survival. It recognizes that there are reliable functions by which the physical world can be understood to offer some advantage over our environment. For example, gravity causes things to ‘fall’. Some fears are part of our legacy wiring that offers long-term survival advantage. In conjunction with symbols, humans have evolved fairly sophisticated — if not always accurate — way to depict the world around us to prolong our experience in this existence.
This feature has a doppelganger called rationalization. The usage of symbols and words to describe rules and behaviors that are observed create patterns that may or may not be reproducible. However, to serve a story where one is either the hero or a victim, we create elaborate stories, “realms of the absurd” through rationalization. It sounds good at the time, but does not hold up in all circumstances.
This is especially true in interpersonal behaviors, especially with toxic persons. These persons seem to have no recollection of their actual behavior. One is often left wondering if we are experiencing the same reality as they are, especially as they come up with bizarre renditions of their experience of an event. Their story is either completely different (and they try to convince you and everyone else that you are wrong and have issues) or they offer up some excuse for their behavior. Over time, their chaotic sense of life fueled by an unquenchable need to continue feeding the hero/victim stories, to make sense of the nonsense they created. The ability to be rational is manipulated into rationalization to defy truth and reproducibility. Even when faced with actual evidence, there is always a story, an indignant stand that you would challenge the web they spin with reality. Furthermore, being master manipulators of the worlds they want to create, from within and without, the subconscious will often create situations whereby self-fulfilling prophecies are perpetuated and told to new, unsuspecting audience.
Persons who rationalize often come across as rational, especially on first pass. However, their stories change with time and audience. They are not capable of sustaining deep meaningful relationships with other rational persons over time. Recognize them by the need to change jobs, change cities, change a whole new set of friends every few years of so, when the facade crumbles and reality catches up with their stories.
Being rational is not the same as rationalizing one’s actions. Being rational often involves taking the hard, courageous steps to recognize and admit that one was wrong, that there was not an excuse, and no one else was at fault. Rationalizing, on the other hand, wants to tell stories where the blame is placed elsewhere and they emerge as either hero and/or victim. Rational is a feature, rationalization is a bug. It’s the same programming, but the context tells different stories.
Choose to be rational. Choose truth over self-serving stories. Start discerning the difference within and without.
Mama's Rules 